None Of Your Business (余計なお世話, Yokeinaosewa) is the 5th episode of Odd Taxi audio drama series.
Synopsis[]
Satoshi Nagashima finally decides to go get the pen in Odokawa's taxi, but finds himself geeking over Homosapiens instead.
Characters[]
Transcription[]
| 話 |
余計なお世話 | |
| 長嶋 |
皆さんこんばんは。 | |
| ついに私、痺れを切らしてタクシーに乗って、見事発見してきました。 | ||
| その上、発信機の電池が心配だったので、該当しそうな電池をたくさん持っていってね。 | ||
| 電池交換までするという離れ業ですので。途中音声途切れますけど、気にしないでください。 | ||
| これ公開しようか迷ったんですけど、 | ||
| うーん。身バレしそうな話はないんで、まあ、いいかなと。 | ||
| それに今週は5個ぐらいしか使いどころなかったので。 | ||
| ではどうぞ。 | ||
| 小戸川 |
学生？ | |
| 長嶋 |
え。まあ、はい。 | |
| 小戸川 |
高校生？ | |
| 長嶋 |
いいじゃないですか。 | |
| 小戸川 |
若いのにタクシーなんか乗りやがって贅沢だなと思って。 | |
| なんかなくした？ | ||
| 長嶋 |
ああ、いや何でもないですよ。 | |
| 小戸川 |
なんだよ、落ち着きないなぁ。 | |
| 長嶋 |
すみません。 | |
| 小戸川 |
前乗せたことあったっけ？ | |
| 長嶋 |
いえ、初めてですけど。なんで？ | |
| 小戸川 |
配車依頼が直できたからさ。 | |
| 長嶋 |
ああ、や、たまたまですけどねぇ。 | |
| 小戸川 |
まあ、キリンは珍しくないからな。 | |
| 長嶋 |
そうですか。あ、あった。 | |
| 小戸川 |
ん？ | |
| 長嶋 |
あっ、なんでもないです。 | |
| 小戸川 |
なんだよ？ | |
| … | ||
| 長嶋 |
まじ面白いでしょう。 | |
| 小戸川 |
ラジオはね、好きで聴いてるよ。 | |
| 長嶋 |
すごいんだって本当に。 | |
| 小戸川 |
ホモサピエンス、どうすごいの？ | |
| 長嶋 |
デビューしたての頃にね、 | |
| 大阪の若手の劇場仕切ってたのが、彼らの６期上のフレンチクワガタだったんだ。 | ||
| 小戸川 |
聞いたことあるな、そのコンビ。 | |
| 長嶋 |
当時大阪ですごい人気で。 | |
| 小戸川 |
待ってよ。 | |
| ホモサピエンスがデビューしたてって１０年ちょい前とかだろう。 | ||
| なんで知ってんだよ。しかも大阪のこと。 | ||
| 長嶋 |
子供の頃から、ありとあらゆるお笑い見てたの。 | |
| ネットもあるし、雑誌も読んだし、ライブも行けるとこは行くし。 | ||
| 小戸川 |
んー。んで？ | |
| 長嶋 |
その劇場はピラミッド方式になってて、トップがフレンチクワガタら、３組。 | |
| その下に、B組C組D組と続くんだけど。 | ||
| 当時ホモサピエンスは、有象無象の最底辺、D組にも入れない状態だったんだ。 | ||
| 定期的に行われるイベントで、入れ替え戦っていうのがあるんだけど、１、２年目の若手はピラミッドにすら入れない。 | ||
| それが当たり前だったんだけど、なんと、無名のホモサピエンスが、１年目からどんどん勝ち上がっていったんだよ。 | ||
| 小戸川 |
ふぅん。 | |
| 長嶋 |
でね、ついにトップとの入れ替え戦までいって、 | |
| なんとあの、フレンチクワガタ対決することになったんだ。 | ||
| その時やったのが、狭いコミュニティでちやほやされて外で勝負しないヤツを弄ったネタなんだけど。 | ||
| それがまさに、フレンチクワガタのことでさ。 | ||
| 会場では全く受けずに負けちゃったんだけど。 | ||
| あっという間に業界から注目されてさ、 | ||
| 小戸川 |
へぇ。 | |
| 長嶋 |
瞬く間に雑誌で特集組まれたりさ、 | |
| 同世代のイベントは全部ホモサピエンスが回してさ、 | ||
| 真先に単独やったしさ、 | ||
| 小戸川 |
それなのになんで売れないの。 | |
| 長嶋 |
見た目が小汚ないからだよ。 | |
| 小戸川 |
そんな理由？ | |
| 長嶋 |
もちろんそれだけじゃないよ。それでも売れてる人はいるからね。なんだろうなぁ。 | |
| ここ３、４年は、事務所のプッシュからも外れて、賞レース用なネタに寄せすぎて、持ち味見失うみたいな悪循環に陥っているような気がする。 | ||
| あと柴垣さんはずっと勝ってきた人だから、負け芸ができないんだよ。かわいげがない。 | ||
| 馬場さんはその辺うまいけど。 | ||
| 小戸川 |
そんなにお笑い好きならさ、自分でやりたいと思わないの？ | |
| 長嶋 |
お笑いに限ったことじゃないけどさぁ。 | |
| プロについて偉そうに語る素人ほど、才能ないやついないよ。点数つけちゃったりするやつとか。 | ||
| 自分で分かってるだけ俺はマシだけど。 | ||
| 外で勝負してる人はみんなすごいよ。 | ||
| 小戸川 |
そんなもんなんだ。 | |
| 長嶋 |
まぁ、やるけどねぇ。 | |
| 小戸川 |
どっちなんだよ。 | |
| 長嶋 |
柴垣さんはバイトするような人じゃないんだ。だから俺がなんとかしたい。 | |
| 小戸川 |
んー。 | |
| もう着くよ。この辺でいい？ | ||
| 長嶋 |
あ、そうだ。 | |
| これ、落ちてたよ。 | ||
| 小戸川 |
あれ。まだあったの、それ？ | |
| 長嶋 |
これさぁ。ホモサピエンスの持ち物だよ。 | |
| 小戸川 |
え？そうなの。 | |
| 長嶋 |
返してあげてよ。 | |
| 小戸川 |
えー。事務所とかに連絡すればいいの？ | |
| めんどくせー。 |
| Story |
None of your Business | ||
| Nagashima |
Good evening, everyone. | ||
| At last, I got so impatient that I successfully tracked down the taxi. | |||
| Moreover, I was concerned about the transmitter's battery, so I brought a bunch of likely replacements. | |||
| It was quite a feat to change the battery. The audio dropped out half-way through as a result, but please just ignore that. | |||
| I was deliberating whether I should stream this or not but... | |||
| ...it doesn't appear to expose my identity so... it's probably fine. | |||
| Besides, I didn't have very many usable recordings this week anyways. | |||
| Well then, without further ado. | |||
| Odokawa |
A student? | ||
| Nagashima |
Huh? Oh, yes, I am. | ||
| Odokawa |
A high school student? | ||
| Nagashima |
Your point being? | ||
| Odokawa |
I was just thinking that catching a taxi must be a bit of a splurge for such a young person... | ||
| Did you drop something? | |||
| Nagashima |
Oh, no, it's nothing. | ||
| Odokawa |
Settle down then, why don't you. | ||
| Nagashima |
My apologies. | ||
| Odokawa |
Have I picked you up before? | ||
| Nagashima |
No, this is the first time. What makes you ask? | ||
| Odokawa |
Because it was a direct dispatch request. | ||
| Nagashima |
Ahh. Must have just been a coincidence. | ||
| Odokawa |
Well, giraffes aren't that rare. | ||
| Nagashima |
Is that so. (Found it!) | ||
| Odokawa |
Hm? | ||
| Nagashima |
Nothing! | ||
| Odokawa |
What're you- | ||
| … | |||
| Nagashima |
-they're so entertaining, right! | ||
| Odokawa |
I do quite enjoy listening to the radio. | ||
| Nagashima |
Honestly, they're amazing! | ||
| Odokawa |
What exactly is it about them that makes them so amazing? | ||
| Nagashima |
The group running the newcomer theater scene back in Osaka | ||
| when Homosapiens debuted was "French Stag Beetle", who were six years older. | |||
| Odokawa |
Yeah, I've heard of them. | ||
| Nagashima |
They were very popular in Osaka at the time. | ||
| Odokawa |
Wait a minute. | ||
| It must have been at least ten years since Homosapiens made their debut. | |||
| How do you even know about them? Not to mention the fact it was in Osaka. | |||
| Nagashima |
I've seen way more comedy than you'd think for someone of my age. | ||
| Between the internet, magazines, and live performances, it's not that unreasonable. |
|||
| Odokawa |
I see. And? |
||
| Nagashima |
The theater utilizes a pyramid system, with three groups at the top, including French Stag Beetle. | ||
| Then ranks B, C, and D, in descending order below that. | |||
| At the time, Homosapiens was still among the riff-raff who couldn't even reach the bottom tier. | |||
| Although a ranking swap competition was held regularly, young newbies only in their first or second years were unable to enter the pyramid. | |||
| That was the norm, but, believe it or not, the unknown Homosapiens steadily kept securing wins right out of the gate! | |||
| Odokawa |
Hmm. | ||
| Nagashima |
Eventually, they earned the right to challenge for the top tier, | ||
| and guess who they were matched up against? Yes, it was French Stag Beetle! | |||
| Their routine at the time was about mocking people who are praised inside their own echo chamber, and don't dare step foot outside of it. | |||
| Which happened to be exactly the kind of situation French Stag Beetle was in! | |||
| Unfortunately, they lost since it wasn't well-received at the venue. | |||
| But! It wasn't long before they were noticed by the industry. | |||
| Odokawa |
Not bad. | ||
| Nagashima |
They were featured in magazine spreads in the blink of an eye. | ||
| Homosapiens made the rounds at all the events, | |||
| and were at the forefront of their generation- | |||
| Odokawa |
If that's the case, why aren't they popular? | ||
| Nagashima |
Because they look shabby. | ||
| Odokawa |
That's why? | ||
| Nagashima |
It's not the sole reason. Other groups are popular despite that. I wonder why… | ||
| For the past three or four years, even without the push from their agency, I feel like they've become too focused on making routines for use in competitions, and fallen into a vicious cycle where they're losing sight of their own uniqueness. | |||
| Also, Shibagaki-san is someone who's used to winning, so he's bad at making fun of himself. He's got no charm. | |||
| Baba-san however has no worries in that area. | |||
| Odokawa |
If you like comedy so much, why don't you try your hand at it? | ||
| Nagashima |
This isn't limited just to comedy but... | ||
| ...nobody is less talented than amateurs who look down their noses at professionals. Like those guys who "keep score" at home. | |||
| I know I'm better than them at least but... | |||
| ...anyone who dares to compete outside their circle is amazing. | |||
| Odokawa |
So that's how it is, huh. | ||
| Nagashima |
I am going to, though. | ||
| Odokawa |
Make up your mind. | ||
| Nagashima |
Shibagaki-san is not the kind of person who should be working part-time. | ||
| That's why I want to do something about it. | |||
| Odokawa |
Hmm. | ||
| We've arrived. Is around here okay? | |||
| Nagashima |
Oh, that's right! I found this. | ||
| Odokawa |
Huh? That was still there? | ||
| Nagashima |
This belongs to the Homosapiens, you know. | ||
| Odokawa |
Oh. I had no idea. | ||
| Nagashima |
Please return it to them. | ||
| Odokawa |
Ehhh. Guess I just have to contact their office? | ||
| What a bother- |
